I don’t like the curse word “g d” because I was raised to not use the name of God as a curse word. As an adult that is one of the things I have held to. I will even go so far as to correct others when they use that particular curse word. I was actually feeling pretty good about myself on this front. A few weeks ago my husband brought something to my attention. He made mention of how offing even out spoken followers of Jesus and children of God say “Oh my god.” His comment made me begin to take notice of this in myself and others. I see the name of God used out of context constantly. In books, in movies, even out of the mouths of believers. It made me stop and think before I opened my mouth. I started thinking about who God truly is to me. God is the creator of this universe. God is the author of our lives. God is the center of my life. God has given me every good thing I have. God has brought me out of every trial I have ever faced. God holds my very soul in his hands. I BELIEVE this with all my heart, mind, and soul. Yet I have used the name of God as an exclamation without a second thought. Over and over and over again. I have typed it. I have yelled it. I have whispered it. I have done this without even considering what I was saying. So I’ve made a commitment to God to no longer use his name without the respect, and honor the name of God of the universe should be given. I want to show God respect in every aspect of my life. How can I say I am doing that if I’m just randomly using his name without thought? Clearly, I can’t. So out of my mouth, or my fingertips, the name of God will be shown honor.
All my life I’ve hated quiet. When I was a teenager I’d sleep with headphones in and music blasting. I’d always have 1 earbud in with music playing so I’d never risk even a moment of silence. In the last few years it’s been books. I’d have an audiobook on constantly. I’d fall asleep listening to stories because I didn’t want to listen to myself thinking.6 months ago my husband and I started going to church. I hadn’t attended church regularly since I was a teenager, and quite honestly, when I was a teenager church was a social gathering for me. It was the one time a week I could see people my age. I didn’t go to learn Gods Word. I didn’t go to worship or build people up or anything. When my husband and I started attending our church we also started reading the Bible daily. We do this together and on our own.
I’ve noticed changes in my husband more than myself over the last 6 months. I’ve seen his faith become stronger than I’d ever have believed possible. I’ve seen his calm when over his anxiety over and over again. I’ve seen him become a leader to the kids and I like never before in our relationship.
This week however we’ve taken our bible study time to a whole new level. We run a paper route which means we drive around all night throwing news papers. Yeah, some people still read actual news papers. My husband and I love our job because it gives us about 5 hours a night to just talk. Some of our deepest conversations have been had over news paper bags. The past few days we have been listening to the Bible read in audiobook while we drive. We listen to 4 hours of bible reading then we talk about what we’ve read. I ask questions about what I don’t understand. We share the things that got our attention the most. And something has started to happen to me this week.
Instead of needing a constant distraction I WANT the quiet. I want to lay in bed with my husband and just be thankful for the time to rest. Silence has become a gift, not something to be afraid of. Instead of listening to my audiobooks I want to listen to worship music. I notice the lack of God in the places he should be. I notice the wrongs in myself and I work to make them less. I miss my bible time when I don’t get it. Reading the Bible has gone from something I do out of obligation, to something I’m genuinely excited about doing. Church has become second home for my family, rather than something to be endured on sundays. My prayer life is a constant thing now instead of a last resort in emergencies. I’m beyond thankful for the changes God has been making in my heart. And I’m so excited to see what’s to come.