my thoughts

So to this point this blog has only been a place to write the often random, usually humorous things I encounter as a blind person. But today I want to put this out here. I have been thinking for a long time about the way people see me. I recently took a trip to see my boyfriend. This involved changing planes twice. Once going there and once coming home. I have noticed in general, strangers are very nice to me. My family calls it playing the blind girl card, when I get something for free, special treatment because I’m blind. I never ask, never play up the disability, but it’s true I do occasionally get these things. On all of my flights I got seat upgrades that I didn’t ask for. Just helpful airline people. These kinds of things do happen, and they do make situations easier. In my experience there are 2 kinds of people. The, “bless your heart, you poor little blind girl,” type. These are the people who stop me on the street, in the store, and pray for me. These people I have no doubt have good intentions. But I these moments always leave me feeling like less. I have no eyes. That’s not going to change. How would you feel if strangers stopped to pray for your skin color? Or your hight? It’s like that. People are worried about it, praying about it, so it must be bad, right? So you constantly feel like there’s something wrong with you. but it’s something you can’t change. So where does that leave you? Insecure and lost in your head. Then there are the, “you’re such an inspiration, you’re amazing,” people. These are infinitely better than the other group, but still. These people don’t know my story beyond I’m a girl at an airport. So my existence is inspiring? This has always confused me. I’m just a girl. There are people who say to me, “I sometimes think being blind is even better than being able to see.” This isn’t true. There are a million little things you don’t think about that are harder, different for me. From knowing which dvd is which, to what is this can of food I’m trying to open, to what color is this shirt? These are every day things I deal with. There are a few big things, like not being able to drive and not being able to just pick something up and read it that are certainly not better. That being stated, this is still just my life. I make it work. I’m not completely helpless, not a superhero either. I’m just a person. I’m a blind girl. That’s true. but that’s not where my story begins and ends. It’s just a part of it.

Advertisements